It took a few houses for SUB to get the hang of things…but once he realized there was free candy involved he was game.

Spitup Boy hasn’t been to mom’s day out in a week and a half (I haven’t gotten up the guts to officially pull him out yet though), and oddly enough this past week we have finally found our stride. So I am thinking that the two are connected. He is happier and hasn’t had any fits or tantrums, and I am finding time to work and get all of the things done that I need to accomplish. Baby Z is still eating and growing, so besides the fact that someone told him that he should only sleep in our bed and should throw a fit should anyone suggest a different location, I can’t complain there either. So life at home is pretty good.

Tomorrow is my 10 year homecoming/reunion football game.  I can’t say that I am excited about it, since I didn’t really connect with anyone in my grade. I always hung out with older people. But it should be interesting to go back to my Alma Mater and experience a football game from the other side of the fence. See what it’s like when you don’t have to dance at the half-time show…

*oh and in case you haven’t noticed, check out the new header on the blog. Baby Z is officially part of the Super-Mommy clan*

Baby Z is now 3 weeks old, and as a “been there done that” mom, I find myself doing things differently this time around…

-First, I know all too well the perils of sleep aids early on:

Swaddling while effective, comes back to bite you in the ass when your precious little one is too big for all your receiving blankets and you find yourself wondering if it’s wrong to try to swaddle your toddler in a bedsheet just to get another 20 minutes of sleep.

Baby swings, are to be used with extreme caution. Baby Z is allowed a 2 hour nap during the day, and a 4 hour stretch at night in the wonderful mind-numbing swing of bliss.  Spitup boy was addicted to the swing, and refused to sleep anywhere else so this time around Baby Z is forced to try out different sleep locations daily.

Although, I do have to say that Baby Z ends up falling asleep in our bed most nights. But more on that later…

-Then of course there is the diaper issue. Spitup boy didn’t learn the wonders of a fluffy butt until fairly late in the game. Baby Z has never known a disposable diaper. He came out of the womb wrapped in fluffy bamboo velour and sherpa. He really doesn’t know how good he has it, and I tear up a little when he cries during diaper changes.

-Naked time is the norm around these parts. I do about 2 loads of laundry a day, not including diapers. I have no idea where all these clothes come from since SUB is perpetually naked. We don’t even do underwear most days, since it is just another thing to fool with. Baby Z is also being initiated into the naked club, and spends the majority of his day in a diaper and socks. We don’t want him to get cold after all.

-Boobs, it’s what’s for dinner. My breastfeeding relationship with SUB was traumatic.  I didn’t know anything about how to get him latched properly, and suffered miserably because of it. I never sought out help from a lactation consultant, and didn’t have a support system available to get me through the rough patches. We started supplementing with formula to make him sleep longer, and my milk supply diminished quickly. At the time, I was just ready to throw in the towel, but a year or so later I really regretted not sticking it out longer.

This time around, I armed myself with education and sheer determination. I watched countless videos about latching, and have been to the Lactation center 3 times now in pursuit of the perfect latch. When asked if I was going to “try to breastfeed this time around” I told people “NO.” I wasn’t going to “TRY” I was “GOING TO” breastfeed. I understand that  babies will nurse more when they have growth spurts or need comfort, and it doesn’t mean that they aren’t getting enough milk and need formula. I know that boobie babies eat more than formula babies because breast milk metabolizes faster. I have been to a La Leche meeting, and was even able to offer some advice to a mom that sounded a lot like I did when SUB was a baby.

We have had some rough patches…Z is a tongue sucker and we are working on teaching him how to use his tongue properly and stop biting me with his gums. But I haven’t for one moment thought about quitting. Every time I nurse him, I get an overwhelming sense of pride. I am proud of my ability to feed him- and feel like I am in a way making up for quiting the first time around. I have even gotten over my apprehension about nursing in public. So if you see my day-glow white boobs- so be it!

I read comments on an birth forum that I frequent,  and I am amazed at how many times I hear people say that “they just didn’t make enough milk” or that their kid seemed like they were “starving” and I want to shout from the rooftops to put the formula bottle away and just keep nursing- your milk will follow suit. I know it’s personal preference whether to formula or bottle feed, but I hate the feeling that you get when you think that your body isn’t able to nourish your baby. And you take that with you forever. Unfortunatly, the medical community is no help and will tell the mom to give formula without batting an eyelash, thus further creating body issues and self-doubt.

Oh crap…sounds like I am now a Lactivist amongst other things…

A month ago, Spit-up boy started a Mom’s Day Out program. I thought it would be a good chance for me to get some work done and spend one-on-one time with baby Z. SUB is usually a social butterfly and loves going to playgroups. He will drag me out of the house to go “play with his friends.” So I thought that school would be a breeze. I was wrong.

He goes 2 days a week from 9am-2pm. The first week, it was new and exciting so he didn’t even bat an eyelash when I walked out the door. But then he started the crying. The mere mention of “school” brings him to tears and he tells me that he would rather stay home and watch sesame street.

Drop-offs are a nightmare. He cries, screams, lurches his body forward as the teacher tries to pull him into the classroom. I have tried all sorts of pep talks and rewards, and nothing seems to be different. When I show up to pick him up in the afternoon, he tells me that he “wants to go home NOW” and can’t get to the car fast enough. He will tell me later he had fun, but he doesn’t really have the words in his vocabulary to tell me he “hates” the place either…

There are a few things that I don’t really like…at least for our situation. One, we are not early risers. SUB usually wakes up between 9-10 in the morning. So trying to get all of us out the door by 9am is nothing short of a miracle. He is crabby for being woken up, and it sort of starts the whole morning off to a bad start. Second, they go down for a nap at 12:30 and sleep for an hour at school. When we are home, he will go down at 2pm and sleep for 3. So on days when he has school he is a bear all evening, because he hasn’t had a long enough nap. I can’t convince him to go down for a second nap- it just won’t happen. Because according to him he “slept good.”

I know at some point, he is going to have to wake up earlier than 9am- and I have tried for a month to get him on a schedule similar to the school’s and it just isn’t happening. I have to run errands and get things done…plus he needs the 3 hour nap. That is crucial.

He is the only kid potty trained in the class, and is often forgotten about I think. Since starting school, he has had countless accidents at school but is good at home.  The teacher says “he didn’t tell me he had to go…” but never really talks about trying to be proactive like taking him before lunch or after a nap to see if he will go…he is only 2.5 after all. They aren’t the bed decision makers at that age.  I have tried working with the teacher, sending stickers with him and such to try to make things better. I know with the new baby, this one may be a losing battle for a while but if the other kids in the class don’t start peeing in the potty soon, it’s going to be a problem. Why should he stop playing to go potty, when all the other kids get to keep playing and crap their pants? What is his motivation?

I liked the idea of a few hours of toddler-free time but I am not sure if it’s really the best idea. I want SUB to like school, and I worry that this experience will sour him on the idea. I feel like a horrible mother every time I drop him off. I want him to enjoy learning- he is so smart and is counting and saying his ABC’s already and I don’t want something to hinder his progress. But at the same time, am I teaching him that if he whines and cries enough mommy will give in and not make him go? Are we going to be revisiting this in kindergarden when he decides he would rather stay home?

So my options are-

a) make him go to MDO, in the hopes that eventually he will learn to like it

b) let him stay home until the spring term (or maybe next fall when he’s 3.5) and try again at the same school once things with the new baby and all have calmed down

c) look for a different MDO program for the spring term, and let him stay home until then

d) or just keep him at home