A few weeks ago SUB reached a whole new level of communication. He went from rudimentary sentences that involved a subject and a verb and not much else, to complex phrases complete with humor and abstract thought.

“Mommy, I have an idea! I think you should go play legos with me!” (his all time favorite activity)

“I’m handsome, smart and nice to my friends. Right Mommy?” (He tells me about 15 times a day that he is handsome and smart…I think we have created a monster)

“Mommy full, Daddy full, Zachary full, I’m full…everybody full!” (the same goes for bathtime…everybody clean!)
“Look there’s a red helicopter in the sky!” (Super-Daddy was so proud he knew the difference between a helicopter and a airplane)

“We will go home, take a bath, and then take a nap in my firetruck bed.” (who needs a day planner when you have a toddler)

“Good job sharing your chips with me Mommy.”  (I get this a lot, I praise him for all sorts of things and he does the same in return. Good job cooking dinner…good job changing the babies diaper…you get the picture)

So on the cusp of his 3rd birthday, I suddenly see a little boy where my baby once stood. It’s such an odd sensation. You are sad to see your baby grow up, but then each new chapter holds excitement and fun that makes you want to see what is coming next.

We were watching cars for the millionth time, and it came to the part where Mater says…

“I knew I made a good choice!”

“In what?”

“My best friend…”

I asked SUB if he had a best friend.

“Yep, I do.”

“Who is it?”

“Um….Elmo…Mater…and Baby Brother…”

“Ok then!”

A month ago, Spit-up boy started a Mom’s Day Out program. I thought it would be a good chance for me to get some work done and spend one-on-one time with baby Z. SUB is usually a social butterfly and loves going to playgroups. He will drag me out of the house to go “play with his friends.” So I thought that school would be a breeze. I was wrong.

He goes 2 days a week from 9am-2pm. The first week, it was new and exciting so he didn’t even bat an eyelash when I walked out the door. But then he started the crying. The mere mention of “school” brings him to tears and he tells me that he would rather stay home and watch sesame street.

Drop-offs are a nightmare. He cries, screams, lurches his body forward as the teacher tries to pull him into the classroom. I have tried all sorts of pep talks and rewards, and nothing seems to be different. When I show up to pick him up in the afternoon, he tells me that he “wants to go home NOW” and can’t get to the car fast enough. He will tell me later he had fun, but he doesn’t really have the words in his vocabulary to tell me he “hates” the place either…

There are a few things that I don’t really like…at least for our situation. One, we are not early risers. SUB usually wakes up between 9-10 in the morning. So trying to get all of us out the door by 9am is nothing short of a miracle. He is crabby for being woken up, and it sort of starts the whole morning off to a bad start. Second, they go down for a nap at 12:30 and sleep for an hour at school. When we are home, he will go down at 2pm and sleep for 3. So on days when he has school he is a bear all evening, because he hasn’t had a long enough nap. I can’t convince him to go down for a second nap- it just won’t happen. Because according to him he “slept good.”

I know at some point, he is going to have to wake up earlier than 9am- and I have tried for a month to get him on a schedule similar to the school’s and it just isn’t happening. I have to run errands and get things done…plus he needs the 3 hour nap. That is crucial.

He is the only kid potty trained in the class, and is often forgotten about I think. Since starting school, he has had countless accidents at school but is good at home.  The teacher says “he didn’t tell me he had to go…” but never really talks about trying to be proactive like taking him before lunch or after a nap to see if he will go…he is only 2.5 after all. They aren’t the bed decision makers at that age.  I have tried working with the teacher, sending stickers with him and such to try to make things better. I know with the new baby, this one may be a losing battle for a while but if the other kids in the class don’t start peeing in the potty soon, it’s going to be a problem. Why should he stop playing to go potty, when all the other kids get to keep playing and crap their pants? What is his motivation?

I liked the idea of a few hours of toddler-free time but I am not sure if it’s really the best idea. I want SUB to like school, and I worry that this experience will sour him on the idea. I feel like a horrible mother every time I drop him off. I want him to enjoy learning- he is so smart and is counting and saying his ABC’s already and I don’t want something to hinder his progress. But at the same time, am I teaching him that if he whines and cries enough mommy will give in and not make him go? Are we going to be revisiting this in kindergarden when he decides he would rather stay home?

So my options are-

a) make him go to MDO, in the hopes that eventually he will learn to like it

b) let him stay home until the spring term (or maybe next fall when he’s 3.5) and try again at the same school once things with the new baby and all have calmed down

c) look for a different MDO program for the spring term, and let him stay home until then

d) or just keep him at home